9.26.2012

Boomer

Did you get your tissue like I told you to do so yesterday? I seriously could hardly type this out, it is still so surreal.....

September 7, 2012 approximately 9:40 am....this time and date will always be etched in my head. Our precious Boomer, my one and only girl, our first fur child, had to be laid to rest. It was the hardest, hardest, hardest decision to make as pet owners. She had been sick off/on the last few months, the first time I took her in, vet concluded she ate a rodent and contacted a virus. The second time Big Bill took her in, seemed to be the same thing (same symptoms/same scenario)....they did mention running additional tests but didn't really push us on the matter so we just got the antibiotics and left. After I got home Labor Day weekend from visiting Grandma, I noticed she was looking really skinny and was a little depressed. Well, the next day was Labor Day, no one was open so I took her in Tuesday to a new vet.....I just wasn't happy with our current one and something just told me to change to this one particular vet. The minute he saw my girl, he said it wasn't looking good and they needed to keep her for observation and to run tests. I told him to do whatever he needed to do, but just keep me updated. As I walked out of the vet, my heart just sunk. Something just told me that it wasn't going to be good news....I cried the whole way back to my office, I couldn't even tell Billy.....there was really nothing to tell just yet as they hadn't done any test but it was just a feeling. That evening the vet called and said some additional tests needed to be done but confirmed what he was seeing, it was some type of blockage around her intestines...after a few days of observation and testing, he called to confirm that it was cancer and it was everywhere. They could operate and remove some, but couldn't guarantee to get all of it. Also, her age was a factor and since she had been so sick, was her body up to the surgery? I immediately called Billy and made him call the vet, I just wanted to make sure that I understood what he was saying.....he told Billy the same thing. That night, we talked about it without really talking about it. I think we both knew it was her time, but neither of us could actually say the words, lay her down.....I cried and cried and cried. Parker kept bringing me his stuff animals and Spiderman and telling me he loved me. We explained to him that Boomer was really, really sick and the doctor couldn't help her, so she is going to doggie heaven. Thankfully the husband is stronger than me, because I couldn't find the words to say. Well, it was about 7pm and I said, you know, if this is Boomer's last night, I want her home. She deserves to spend her last night home with her family. Bill said, you know the vet is closed, but I will call. Of course no one answered but he left a message. About 20 minutes later, he said, you know the neighbors behind us? She works there....she recognized our name when I called today. Instantly, I knew why we changed vets to that specific vet. I asked him if he thought the lady might have a key and he said I don't know but I'll ask. He returned about 10 minutes later and said she is meeting him in town right now and kissed me good bye.

He returned home with her about 30 minutes later. She was so happy to see me, but it was short lived. In a way, I think she knew it was her time. Billy picked her up and put her on the couch with me and we just laid there and snuggled. It was getting pretty late but I just didn't want her sleeping alone (she normally sleeps under our bed on my side of the bed) so we moved Parker to our room and me and Boomer slept in Parker's bed. I say slept pretty loosely, I don't think I feel asleep the whole night. The next morning, we had her out back and I just sat outside with her, savoring every last minute with her. She didn't play, didn't eat, basically just laid on the back porch. She'd wag her tail at the sound of my voice but didn't lift her head.

We made our way into the vet's office and they immediately placed us in the room. I was such a mess, such a hot mess, I couldn't even talk. Thankfully Big Bill handled the conversation with the staff and doctor and I just sat in the floor with my girl. We got some more time with her before and after and I am so grateful for the staff and how they treated us. The rest of the day was spent in bed, cuddled up with Harley. The next day, we tried getting out to run some errands, but Billy ended up dropping me back off at the house so I could be with Harley. I spent the rest of the day in bed again, cuddling Harley.

My heart just aches at the thought that she is no longer with us.....when Peyterbug looks out the kitchen window and hold his hands up and says, Moomer? Mooooommmmer? Or when Parker comes up to me and says, Mommy, I really miss Boomer a lot. The other day, we were practicing letters, M for Mommy, D for Daddy, etc, we went through the whole family and even did H for Harley and he suddenly got super excited and said, and B for Boomer! I just smiled and said, yes...B is for Boomer. We miss you girl, you will forever be in our hearts.